This demo was a good time! I really liked the style and execution of quite a lot of the art. The dialogue worked for me and often felt quietly funny. I also like how you've summoned up some of the atmosphere of late teens spent somewhere that's not the most inherently exciting place in the world—very efficiently, without that many assets used. I'm afraid I can't comment on the voice acting because I'm a boring turns-the-voices-off person, but it's impressive that you're including it, and also good from an accessibility point of view.
I wondered in a few places whether the narration, distinct from the dialogue, might be dialled back, to avoid the risk of saying things we can infer already. Perhaps that's just a matter of taste! One or two lines included vocabulary which I'm not sure was in circulation in 1997, but (1) I might just be wrong, and (2) even if that is happening, that's a legitimate stylistic choice (no one writes historical fiction about the fourteenth century in Middle English, and nor should they). Also, the drawing of Nat with her tongue out is funny, but I thought perhaps it appeared too often, diluting its force—in my opinion, and it's only an opinion, that sort of image works best when used most sparingly.
None of those things were a big deal. Overall, I thought this was a very likeable snapshot. Good luck working on the rest of it!
Ohhh this was already so fun just as a demo! I'm a big fan of including little puzzles and gameplay elements into VNs, and the metal gathering is a great excuse in-story to do just that. I had fun solving that first puzzle.
Nat and Izzy feel very real, especially Izzy's struggles with her personhood and her anger when she feels like her friend and everyone else are not listening to her. And the scene with Faerie feeling all that anger and speaking through Izzy felt unsettling.
Loved the art and the presentation too! Can't wait for the full release.
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This demo was a good time! I really liked the style and execution of quite a lot of the art. The dialogue worked for me and often felt quietly funny. I also like how you've summoned up some of the atmosphere of late teens spent somewhere that's not the most inherently exciting place in the world—very efficiently, without that many assets used. I'm afraid I can't comment on the voice acting because I'm a boring turns-the-voices-off person, but it's impressive that you're including it, and also good from an accessibility point of view.
I wondered in a few places whether the narration, distinct from the dialogue, might be dialled back, to avoid the risk of saying things we can infer already. Perhaps that's just a matter of taste! One or two lines included vocabulary which I'm not sure was in circulation in 1997, but (1) I might just be wrong, and (2) even if that is happening, that's a legitimate stylistic choice (no one writes historical fiction about the fourteenth century in Middle English, and nor should they). Also, the drawing of Nat with her tongue out is funny, but I thought perhaps it appeared too often, diluting its force—in my opinion, and it's only an opinion, that sort of image works best when used most sparingly.
None of those things were a big deal. Overall, I thought this was a very likeable snapshot. Good luck working on the rest of it!
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful feedback! 💗
Ohhh this was already so fun just as a demo! I'm a big fan of including little puzzles and gameplay elements into VNs, and the metal gathering is a great excuse in-story to do just that. I had fun solving that first puzzle.
Nat and Izzy feel very real, especially Izzy's struggles with her personhood and her anger when she feels like her friend and everyone else are not listening to her. And the scene with Faerie feeling all that anger and speaking through Izzy felt unsettling.
Loved the art and the presentation too! Can't wait for the full release.
Thank you so much for the kind comment! I'm so glad you enjoyed the demo <3
Played through this Demo on stream, I truly loved it! Eager to learn more about the story and enjoyed the atmosphere!!
Thank you so much for the video! <3